


Serenity's Cook

by orphan_account



Series: Serenity Needs a Cook [2]
Category: Firefly
Genre: Chinese Food, Food, I'm not kidding, New Character - Freeform, Serenity Needs a Cook, a blonde jewish cook, and it gets one, cook - Freeform, orginal character - Freeform, what else should i put in the tags?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 16:20:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dinah is now Serenity's cook. so, they gained another crew member? what can happen? a lot apparently. sequel to "Serenity Needs a Cook."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here we are again. I obviously own nothing but Dinah and her kid and her family. and her food. I totally get all of her food.

It was kind of hard to look at a skinned rabbit, especially when it sill has its eyes in its skull, beady and black. Empty and hollow. Staring into the dark emptiness of face. Forever. God, it was creepy. The muscle was cold and the blood had frozen into little droplets on the pink meat. It was in one of the refrigerated crates from Triumph. Freaks. Sure, they had packed some nice bread and bunch of fresh vegetables and some good cheese but, in no way was Dinah gonna cook the dead thing in front of her. Kosher was one of the few rules she tried to follow strictly. Floating out in space, it was kind of hard to keep the sabbath, what with the constant change of timetables and all. But she tried to eat the Jewish way. And that meant no hare.

Dinah closed the crate with a sigh. She picked up a box and carried it into the kitchen. Dinah figured she might as well figure out dinner. She was the cook after all. Rice. Rice was always a good meal starter. She could make bao. Rice and bao. Maybe some fruit too. It would go bad soon. Bao and rice with fruit.

The kitchen was a mess. Pans and bowls were interspersed all around the kitchen. All together there were about 5 pots of varying sizes and uses, some cookware, and a really old aluminum pan. This was hardly a well stocked kitchen. But, she didn't really needed to make anything fancy. And they had salt, ground protein, nutrient packs, canned meals.

She set about preparing the food, falling into an easy rhythm. Dinah started to think about things: how long would it take to get to Artemis, how she would deal with her mum, would she even see her family?

"Hello, Dinah. River," Shepherd Book greeted. River? Dinah looked up and sure enough the girl was sitting at the table looking at a book. She must have slipped in when Dinah wasn't looking. "Do you need any help with your meal?"

"Oh, I can handle it. But, you can help if you'd like. If you could start chopping up- uhhh...the green onions, that would be great," Dinah said, removing the crate and the pots off the island, to make room for the shepherd. She gave him the onions. He gave her a friendly smile and set about chopping.

"What are you making?"

"Rice and bao. Easy meal. Chop them onions up real small, too," Dinah said, managing to navigate about five pans into a cabinet with the grace of an ostrich. As the avalanche of metal threatened to crash down, she shoved the door closed hoping it would stay there. She'd get to it later.

"And what are you up, sweetheart?" Book asked river.

"Fixing your bible." maybe they had some beef. She could cook with beef; Beef was kosher. She knelt down to reach into the cabinets, feeling around for flour or something. All she found was more protein.

"I-uh-what?" the preacher shrieked, startling Dinah. She tried to stand up but hit her head on the counter. This kitchen was too small for two people.

"Ow!"

"River what are you doing?" Book asked, racing over to River, the onions still on the counter.

"I am fixing your bible. Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics- doesn't make sense."

"River, honey, are you tearing up the Shepherd's book? That's not nice," Dinah said not really paying attention to the two people. She was measuring about 5 cups of rice; there were about 10 people on this boat so that would do . She set some water to boil on the stove.

"No, it'll work. We'll integrate non-progressional evolution with god's creation of Eden. eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there... eleven, important number, prime number, one goes into the house of eleven eleven times but always comes out one-"

"River! Just stop! Give me those-"

"Noah's ark is a problem."

"Really?"

"Yes. With a minimum of 250,000 species, we can't confirm that there was a problem with seating. Eleven! Again. Not forty. Eleven days. Eleven boats with 11,000 species. One man comes out always eleven. Also, its irrational to make Mary a virgin. I came to the conclusion that if we remove the prophecy of the messiah-" at that moment River ripped a nice page out of the book. The sound seemed to echo. That long tearing sound that meant something was broken.

"Hey! Gimme that!" the shepherd said, in a very undignified way. He grabbed the book, possessively, even as River held on to it. Book was determined to keep it but, so did River. Maybe now was time to intervene.

"River! Let go! This is silly. You listen to the preacher," Dinah said, walking over and kneeling by the dinner table. River slowly relinquished it.

"River, you don't fix the bible. The bible fixes you," he sagely explained.

"But the bible's broken. Not making sense."

"No. River, It's not about making sense. It's about believing in something, and letting that belief be real enough to change your life. It's about 'faith'. You don't fix faith, River. It fixes you." he reached for the pages River still held. She pulled back. There was a small tug of war before Shepherd relented.

"Why don't you hang onto those?" Book announced, giving Dinah a nod before leaving. Dinah stood up and moved back into the kitchen. The rice was cooking nicely.

"It doesn't make sense," River whispered, so quietly Dinah wasn't sure she heard her. The water simmered softly as Dinah stared at River. River was staring at the table, her long brown hair dripping down, making a curtain around her face. Light poured in through the skylight, turning some strands to gold. Her shoulders sagged and she seemed frozen in time, still and untouched.

"I shouldn't have done that," River admitted, slowly and quietly.

"Yep. That was inappropriate, River. But, I think Shepherd will forgive you. I mean, he's a nice-"

"I destroyed something...precious. Girl can't take care of herself. Has to be watched. He doesn't want to."

"Whatcha talking about?"

"Forgive me."

"Book? He'll forgive you. Trust me."

"Can I trust you?" River asked, her voice eery and calm. She still hadn't picked her head up. Dinah hesitated before answering.

"Yes. River?"

River picked up her head, her dark brown eyes full of regret. Dinah gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm-"

"yeah?"

"I'm trying."

She was only a girl. No older than 16 and already on the edge of the 'verse. Sure, she was crazy but she was still a teenager. Not everything made sense then, especially religion. Religion was something complex. Something you lived by, you believed in. Something people died for, killed for and...well stole for. The food was fine. No one would be back for a few hours.

"C'mon, River. I wanna show you something."


	2. Chapter 2

Dinah was winging this. Really, she was. The bible debacle seemed to really upset River and Dinah had wanted to help her in someway. She was growing up and okay, maybe she was crazy but, that didn't really make her any less of a teenager. So Dinah had hoped to help her. Give her some guidance. It would work. In theory. River was following her, her feet barely making any noise as Dinah's boots clunked on the metal grating.

"Now, what I am going to show you is something special. I don't mean to be rude or anything but, you can't touch it. Dong ma?"

"Yes. backwards"

"Uhhh...sure." stepping into her cabin, Dinah bent down to pull the silver case from under her bed. Gently, she placed it on her bed and opened it slowly. Prying the velvet apart, the familiar spicy smell filled the air. She stepped back to let River look at her treasure, River's usual abstract amazement on her face.

"Go on; look at it. Just don't-"

"No touching. Right. Its sacrilege," River teased with a light playful smile. Dinah sat down in the shaky metal chair, a knee pulled up to her chest. River bent downward, her back as flat a a table, in order to get a closer look. Dinah breathed deeply; she loved that smell. Cinnamon and something else. Something stronger and more pungent. Dinah's mother had called it nutmeg but, Dinah couldn't be sure. In all her years and travels, Dinah had never come across such a spice nor had anyone else who knew it. It was probably on of the few things that had been left on the Earth That Was to die.

"I found you."

"What'd you say, River? Sorry. I was just thinkin'."

"I found you," River repeated, a delicate finger pointing to the text. Even though the digit was a good distance form the paper, Dinah still cringed. It was not to be touched.

"Whatcha mean?"

"Your name. I found it. Dinah. The namesake. Your namesake," River said. Dinah was quiet for a moment.

"How'd you know that River?"

"Its a West Semitic language of the Afro-astiatic language family. Characters correspond with Anglo-saxon characters. You could also find sino-tibetan parallels but, who really wants to translate it into 12 interpretations?" River said jokingly, as if they weren't discussing how she had just miraculously translated a medieval language into its modern day usage. Dinah tried to say anything, something but, she just stood there, her mouth gaping open. How in the 'verse did River know something like that?

"Its also has a beat, a rhythm. Bereshit. Shemot. Vayikra. Bamidbar. Devarim. 5 books. And also a rough thick texture not ideal for writing. Besides, cellulose wouldn't need the spices. Writ on animal skins," River explained, as she stares at the paper, her face tense with concentration. Suddenly she her face brightened. "This is the Torah."

"...Yeah. Actually. How did you-"

"You stole it. For your faith."

"Shi. I did, River but, its so much more complicated then-"

"And you wanted to explain what to me?"River asked looking at Dinah with the expression of an eager student.

"Well, you seem to understand it all," Dinah teased, pulling her fingers through her hair.

"Yes, but, I like it when people say what they think. When people don't, it gets so confusing."

"Straightforward, huh? Well, in Judaism, I am Jewish, you know-"

"Yes, I know."

"Well, every Jew is supposed to create a copy of the torah during their life. But, its not like everyone can just spend all their life writing, right? So usually a scribe or someone will write a torah for a whole community of people. My abba- my dad created that Torah. And he wrote every word on that scroll," Dinah said, pulling the silver case into her lap. The parchment was a beautiful brown-yellow and the words were stark and black, expressive and religious. She remembered the brushes, soft and elegant and most sacred when her father used them to transcribe the word of their God.

"Then came the War. And confusion and chaos. It was really hard to keep track of really anything. And someone took it, thought they could pass it off as an Earth That Was artifact. My community was able to get another but, it just wasn't the same. At least, not to me."

"He died, didn't he? Your father. I didn't make that up did I?"

"Yeah, I did lose him. But, he was an old man by then. It was a good death. Peaceful like. Anyway after the War, I went a little mad, you see? So many things were lost, so many people. I didn't have much to do and well, I knew I could get it back and so, I stole it," Dinah finished, a devious smile on her face. River was quiet, no doubt contemplating quantum physics or astrobio science. Finally, the young girl looked up.

"I should go say I am sorry. To Shepherd Book."

"Only if you really are. Otherwise its as useless as fei hua."

"I am sorry." and with that River stood and left. Dinah closed the case. She lightly caressed the smooth top.

"Love you, abba."

Dinah walked back to the kitchen, tying her blonde hair up. She sliced the rest of the veggies and prepared the dough for the dumplings. Then Dinah let her ingrained cooking skills take over. Spread it out into a thin sheet. Don't break the dough. Press the veg into the dough gently. Don't suffocate it. Fold it over and seal it up. Put in a pan to steam. Wait till the pastry puffed up. The smell of cooked bao brought Dinah's attention back to her task. She admired her handwork; the soft dough was pale and puffed, perfect and symmetrical. The kitchen now smelled like home. And it was nice.

Before she heard the scream. It was a loud shriek that made Dinah jump and drop the pan she was holding. It fell to the stove with a loud clunk and drops of hot oil splashed, searing her skin like pin pricks.

"Go se!" Dinah cursed before running toward the sound. She saw Zoe running towards one of the cabins. She followed Zoe till she saw it.

"Mother of a- Shepherd! What the hell did you do to ya hair!" Dinah exclaimed. The shepherd's hair was usually pulled back and neat. Now it was a crazy mess of frizziness that surrounded his head like a halo. and it was very very odd. Kind of funny too.

"Nothing! This is what it looks like normally!" shepherd exclaimed, 'it' obviously being the crazy party on his head.

"Normal, my boot. And you made River go away crying," Zoe scolded.

"Where'd she go?" Dinah asked.

"River!" Zoe called. There was no response, just the faintest sound of light footsteps."She's probably hiding."

"Could this day get anymore crazy?"

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Dinner time. Everyone on board seemed to be gathered. The table was a mass of reaching and twisting arms, everyone grabbing for rice, bao and fruit. Dinah was constantly being jostled from side to side. And everyone was yammerin'. Wash was chattering loudly with his wife and the captain; Kaylee was talking to Simon, who was actually smiling and loosening up. River was carefully dissecting her bao, peeling the steamed dough from the vegetables. Shepherd Book was talking with Mal about somethin' and...where was Jayne?

"Where's Jayne?"

"Probably in his bunk," Kaylee said, before her brow furrowed. "Hey, why ain't he? You'd think Jayne would be the first one at the table for a real cooked meal."

"I think he was pretty shaken by the 'hero of canton' deal," Zoe explained.

"So what exactly happened today?" Dinah asked. Wash let out a very loud laugh, almost choking on some rice. His wife patted his back as he calmed down a little. His smile grew even wider and he began to giggle.

"Jayne turned out to be a genuine- I'm sorry – I just can't-"

"He turned out to be folk hero," Zoe clarified, as her husband burst out in fits again. "Apparently he dropped a lot of money right on the Mudders and they now treat him like their god. They made a statue and all. So the Mudders had a parade for him while we got the goods."

"Then, apparently, the Magistrate got word of Jayne and sent one of Jayne's old comrades after him. Real ugly fellow too," Mal added, taking over the story. Everyone else was munching happily on their food; well, except River who was trying to put rice into the hollowed out dumpling. Dinah shook her head focused back on the story. "He must have lost an eye and it was all crusted over. And he had this wild crazy hair-"

"Still watching me. Waiting," River said, glaring at Shepherd Book from across the table. Dinah smiled as Book looked up to see the young girl staring at him accusingly.

"-and anyway. They had a brawl and guns were drawn. But, you see this young Mudder took a bullet for Jayne. Literally. He died and Jayne must have had an epiphany or somethin'. Basically denounced the whole hero thing. Pushed his own statue off its pedestal. I think he's probably still hung up about it."

"A man did die for him today," Book wisely said. "I believe anyone would feel something for that kind of sacrifice."

"Probably, preacher. That ain't wrong either. But, Jayne a complex fellow. "

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Dinah carried a plate of food, the warmth seeping onto her hand. Everyone was elsewhere on the ship, either in their bunks or in the common area. Dinah had cleaned the meal up with Shepherd, who told her about his abbey. Now, she was searching the ship for Jayne, at the captain's request. She was in charge of meals and she should make sure everyone on board ate.

After awhile she was becoming a little annoyed. Jayne wasn't in his bunk or in the medical bay or the engine room. Dinah was tired of looking around and this was a complex ship. Well not so complex, but, kind of difficult to navigate. Climbing the stairs, however, Dinah found her target. Jayne was sitting on the stairs of a shuttle, cleaning his gun.

"Hey! Jayne! You want food?" she hollered at him. God help him, if her refused the meal she just lugged around the ship. He looked up at her. She half expected him to turn down the food, from the look he was giving her. Kind of distracted and careless. "Answer, gorram it! Do you want dinner or not? Now I ain't your mother, so make up your mind already!" they were about 20 ft away and Dinah was pretty sure everyone on board could hear her. She huffed and was about to leave when Jayne spoke up.

"Shi."

Dinah moved forward and handed him the hot plate. She took a seat on one of the stairs. He stuffed one dumpling in his mouth then swallowed it whole; Dinah grimaced as he continued to eat like that.

"You're welcome, Jayne. I was glad to bringing you a wonderfully hand made meal."

"Xei-Xei." He shoveled some the rice into his mouth and an orange slice. In the short while Dinah had known Jayne he had always had something to say, whether it be dirty or stupid or startling appropriate. He was always prattling' on. Now, he said nothing. As he chewed the food, Dinah looked at the gun he had. A big modified one, with a whole jumble of mismatched parts put together.

"Whatcha got there?"

Jayne mumbled something but, it wasn't clear; his mouth was still full of food and he wasn't talking too loudly to begin with. Dinah was getting pretty fed up with the whole cold shoulder deal, too.

" I can't hear a thing you're sayin' on account of all that well cooked food you tossed into your mouth!"

"I said, she's a semi-automatic shot gun," Jayne said with annoyance. Satisfied, Dinah leaned back arms crossed. At least she got him talking.

"How she handle?"

"How she handle? She's the best gorram gun on the rim! Hell, in the whole verse, maybe. She shoots straight and clear. This here is a piece of genuine machinery," Jayne said, instantly becoming more animated, his voice full of pride and admiration. He stroked the gun with affection. "You know, one time six men came to kill me. And the best of them carried this, Vera, my girl."

"Do a lot of people come around to kill ya?" Dinah teased.

"Well, I do piss people off. Hell, I piss the captain off most of the time. And of course, we tend to make quite a ruckus on whatever planet we land on. It can get pretty bloody"

"Seems like it from what I heard. Hey, didn't you stir up something in town?" Dinah asked. Jayne's face hardened and he went back to cleaning his gun with a rag, ignoring Dinah. What the hell put him in a nark?

"Come on, hero-" Dinah said, trying to make amends. Jayne suddenly stood up, the grating shaking as the man, quickly walked away. He left and Dinah was left sitting on the stairs, knees up to her chest. The half eaten meal was still on the grating: a few leftover apple slices, a piece of bao. So isolated and lonely. Always alone. Bloody brilliant. She was over analyzing food now. Had she said something wrong? What was up? It was almost as if the Jayne had transferred his sad depressed state over to Dinah. Suddenly memories became dredged up. Not just memories but, ideas that the boy who sacrificed himself had epitomized. She was lost in her own thoughts when she heard loud footsteps on the metal, bringing her quickly back to reality. Jayne was back.

"I am taking the food with me," he said petulantly, picking up the half empty plate before walking off again. Suddenly she was angry with him. Really angry. Angry because he was being rude. Angry because he was eating her food. Angry because she wasn't home with her family right now. Angry because he put her in a bad mood.

"Hey, Jayne!" Dinah shouted at the tall man, a hard sharpness in her voice. "I know your feeling bad, what with the boy dying for you and all but, you can't just go around making putting the rest of us or more specifically me, in a nark. He died and it wasn't your gorram fault so, stop acting like it is! Last thing anyone in the whole gorram 'verse needs is misplaced pity," Dinah marched off to the kitchen. "And you were right. You do piss people off!"

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With a sigh, Dinah rested over the counter, rubbing her eyes. She was tired but, she didn't really feel like sleeping. It was so quiet on board. Only the steady thrum of the engine. The distant hum of machinery keeping everyone alive. It was calming. Maybe, Dinah should be getting to bed.

Suppressing a yawn, she went to leave the kitchen. She rubbed her head; what should she make tomorrow. Maybe just some protein or something not too fancy. Then Dinah saw something.

"Gah! Zoe! You frightened me. Don't you make any noise?" Dinah exclaimed, trying to be quiet. Everyone was asleep, after all. Zoe laughed at Dinah.

"Sorry. I am just waiting for Wash to preset the coordinates."

"oh. Do you have any idea what moon we're headed to?"

"not sure. I think, we'll be near Artemis in about 3 days."

"Really? This boat moves quicker than I thought. All for the better though."

"Shi. Serenity, she'll deceive you sometimes," Zoe said. Dinah had a question to ask. Something that had been bugging her for a while.

"Did you and Mal fight at the battle of Serenity?"

"What?" Zoe asked obviously caught off guard by the question.

"Did you-"

"I heard you clear. We did. For the Independents," Zoe said in her cool stoic way.

"I understand. I was just wondering. You both seemed like Browncoats. Brave and all. I think I'll be going to bed," Dinah said giving Zoe a tense smile before shutting the lights off in the kitchen.

Getting into her bed, Dinah stared at the ceiling. The Battle of Serenity. Not a lot of people knew a whole lot about it. Dinah had seen it. Not the actual battle but, the aftershock. She remembered the battlefield covered with bodies, most of them wearing dusty brown coats. Sure, you'd see a downed alliance cruiser and a several armor clad soldiers with their throats slit. People died. It was the way of life. Closing in her eyes, Dinah fell asleep, wishing that her past would stay in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so slight angst at the end there. I had to give her some history.


	3. Chapter 3

Clatter. Boom. Crash. "Gorram it!"

Dinah stirred a little in her bed, unwilling to wake. People were so loud. She needed a little more sleep. Just let her nod off a bit and she'd be right back on duty. Hell, they probably didn't even need her. Maybe she could stay here for another hour. Yes, just sleep a little bit more.

"Who the hell stacked the gorram pots like this?"

Huh?

Dinah bolted out of the bed, jumping into her boots and pulling a fresh shirt on. She nearly missed the doorway entirely. Dinah slid on the grating and her shoulder collided with the wall as she darted out of her room. Her shoulder ached as she slowly regained conscieness, falling into the kitchen. Funny how close her cabin was to the kitchen.

"Hwoon dahn! I'm sorry, Mal! I forgot about the pans! I was rearranging them a few days ago and I never got to put them in their proper place and well...you know," Dinah hastily explained pulling her hands through her blonde hair. It must have been a mess. Mal was rubbing his temple and giving her a sour look that she deserved. She quickly piled all the pans into her arms and shoved them into a floor cabinet where they were less likely to clock someone in the head.

"Why in the whole 'verse would you leave the pans like that?"

"Well, I didn't exactly intend to have them crash down on the captain's head, now did I? Besides, why were you nosing around in the kitchen, anyway? Ain't I the cook or were just teasin' me?"

"I think a captain should be allowed to go around his own kitchen," Mal said taking a seat at the table.

"Only if he can cook, and from what Inara and Kaylee told me, that's near impossible."

"I ain't that bad. I mean, I can cook for myself, just not others," Mal defended. Dinah snorted, stretching the stiff muscles in her neck. She must have been asleep for less than 3 hours.

"Sure, Captain. So, should I start making breakfast for the crew, then? I ain't exactly accustomed to your boat's schedule," she said, putting her hair up.

"You can get on it, if you want. The crew ain't gonna be up for another 2 hours at least," Mal calmly said, rubbing his eyes while suppressing a yawn. Dinah just stared at the man who had just woken her from a peaceful slumber.

"So I got up for nothing then."

"Well, not nothing. Your gorram pans attacked me," Mal said, with a chuckle. "you can go back to sleep if ya want."

"Nah. I am already up. Your loud screeching made sure of that."

It was at that moment Dinah realized that she had her shirt on backwards,the raised collar tickling her neck. And she was wearing two different shoes. Which was peculiar because she didn't own two pairs of shoes. "On second thought, I think that's a rather good idea."

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after breakfast

Dinah huffed. On the kitchen table sat a plate. A dirty plate. With leftovers on it. It really pissed her off. She wasn't no gorram maid! Everyone on board serenity was generally nice and usually they never made too much of a mess with their meals. However someone on board seemed in the habit of leaving their dishes out. And it wasn't even an empty plate; it was usually piled with half eaten food.

She didn't want to make a big deal about it but, it was gross. And sure, maybe it was her job to make the food but, she wasn't supposed to go around cleaning up after people. She shook her head and carried dirty plate over to the sink. It fell with a clatter. 1 more hour till they reach Artemis.

"Good morning, Dinah. My, it smells good in here."

"oh! Morning, Inara," Dinah greeted as she carefully lifted a hot saute pan off the stove, pouring the hot oil down the drain. "Everyone else just had breakfast but I can make ya something, if you'd like? Toast, tomatoes, rice, tea?"

"I'll have some tea, please. If its not too much trouble."

"Oh, don't worry. No trouble at all. Frankly I like keeping myself a bit busy," Dinah said, putting the kettle on. "What kind would you like?"

"Oolong would be delightful," Inara responded, easing into a seat.

"Oolong? Really?" Dinah asked scrunching up her nose as she picked up the tea packet. "I ain't too fond of that stuff. I prefer rosehip myself. Then again I don't normally drink tea. Ain't got the patients too let it seep," Dinah explained. The companion gave a soft laugh.

"Oolong is an acquired taste. I find it helps ease me into the day though. Its a good breakfast tea."

Dinah nodded as the water boiled. She began to wash the dishes. She could smell the strong tea leaves. It wasn't a smell she particularly liked. Kind of musty and too heavy for her taste. Too decadent. Thinking on the tea, Dinah began to wonder why Inara was on this boat. Inara was nice and all but, she was very high class; you'd expect her to be on a core planet. Not way out here in the black. She scrubbed the dirty dishes before she realized Inara was saying something.

"What? Sorry. My mind was elsewhere," Dinah muttered turning around to remove the kettle.

"I asked if you are going to see your daughter. On Artemis," Inara asked as Dinah handed her the tea.

"Hopefully," Dinah admitted, tracing an invisible stain on the table. "The arrangement my ex and I came to was that Leah would live with him while she was in school. When she's on holiday, I take her. I travel with her. I take to Gaea to see the theatre house there and the Ocean festivals they have on during July. She loves travelling. And seen all them strange places. Bit of a bragger she is. Goes to her school and tells all her peers about the adventures we have together. She's an explorer. She got that from me, I guess."

"You sound like a wonderful mother," Inara commented, putting her at ease. Dinah shrugged.

"I wish I could see her more often. That's for sure. I just- I can't really hold down a job on that planet. Its hard. I mean, I grew up working on Artemis but, I don't want to go around serving snotty rich people. But Leah's happy with the arrangement and that's really all that matters," Dinah said, playing with the edge of her shirt. Inara sipped her tea.

"We'll be in the atmo in about 10 minutes," Zoe said, poking her head into the kitchen.

"Thank you, Zoe. I should probably get going," Inara said, taking her cup to the sink.

"I can take that," Dinah said, referring to the mug.

"No its alright," Inara said, graciously with a smile. So the dish-deserter definitely wasn't Inara.

"You got a client to service or somethin'?" Dinah innocently asked before realizing how tactless she sounded. She smacked her forehead with her palm. "I'm sorry! I did not mean it like that-"

"Don't worry. I do actaully have a client to meet."

"I'm sorry. If it helps, you're one of the nicer ones I've met. Most act like queens of the gorram moon, instead of a fancy whor- I'll shut up now. You are a nice person, is all," Dinah finished, her cheeks turning red. Inara laughed.

"I've met more offensive people, Dinah. The captain being one of them. Don't worry. I am not offended. Xei-xei for the tea," and with that Inara left the room, her silk gown swirling behind her. Dinah collapsed into a chair with her own usual awkward coordination. What a rough day so far.

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Tall trees encircled them towering towards the sky. The trunks were huge, not the weak skinny saplings that Mal was used to. And into between two massive bushes, there was path that cut clear through the wild foliage. The air wasn't dry either. It was warm and heavy with moisture. It smelled like fresh plants and sweet flowers. Ripe fruit hung from the enormous trees in thick clumps, weighing down the branches with their treasures. Birds sang, all different and strangely harmonious, flitting from branch to branch, underneath the climate control grid, lacing the sky with white steel ribbons. Creatures stirred in the undergrowth, shaking leaves and snapping twigs. It was a wild jungle, dark and mysterious. So strange and foreign. So far from mankind.

"Wash! Where in ai ya hell did you land us?" Mal yelled as he stood on the landing dock of Serenity.

"Its the safest spot around for miles. The city has major security. Checkpoints, ship scans, alliance officers. Some people here are very paranoid," Wash said taking in the sight of the forest before sneezing."Is it supposed to be this...green?"

"So you don't think they'll find it odd that we just landed right here in their little forest?"

"Don't worry. Sometimes people will hire private contractors to come down here all the time."

"Besides, Capt'n, it ain't exactly like we have a huge carbon readin' that any good locator scanner would lock onto. We'd probably be a little blip on their screen," Kaylee said coming up behind Mal, hair brushed, bright eyed and ready to go. "We gonna get going capt'n?"

"In a minute. Hey Zoe! Whose staying with Serenity?" Mal called to Zoe who was walking down the stairs followed by Dinah, who held the silver case which had originally brought her on board.

"Shepherd Book," Zoe replied. "River and Simon are staying too."

"Good. I hear there is a lot of Alliance influence on this moon. We don't to be known for harboring fugitives."

"I am staying on board too," Wash said, as he suppressed another sneeze.

"What's wrong with ya?" Jayne asked, a confused expression on his face.

"I don't- I lived most of my life on a- Achoo! A planet with the highest smog coverage. I am not- Achoo! Can't stand this climat-"

"Well, just stay here then. Lets get going," Mal said and the group walked off down the worn path. The tree branches merged, blocking out the sunlight, creating a thick canopy over head. It was shadowy as they tread down the foot path.

"Wow! Its so...pretty! Like a paintin' or soemthin'! I ain't never been on a jungle plant before!" Kaylee chirped as she examined the world around her.

"too overgrown for me," Zoe said.

"I second that. 'sides, its so sweltering here," Mal agreed as they walked. Something rustled and the group froze. Zoe, Mal and Jayne reached for their weapons. Just in case. Dinah suppressed her grin. All of the hardened thieves tensed ready for anything to pop out of the undergrowth. Dinah couldn't blame them of course; being a criminal, anything could happen if a job went wrong for them. But, Dinah knew there weren't any alliance officers or crime lords in these forests. Just free range wild animals.

"Twitchy lot, ain't cha?" Dinah asked. "Don't worry, Captain Reynolds. Probably just one of them monkeys. They let them run wild here."

"Can't be too careful," Zoe said, putting away the pistol Dinah hadn't even seen her remove.

"Excitin', ain't it?" Dinah said. "Oy! Just remembered. Anybody got an idea whose the slob who always leaving their dishes out?" Dinah asked as they walked. Everyone automatically looked at Jayne. He was too busy nosily clearing his throat to notice their stares.

"Why y'all looking at me? I ain't done nothing recently! And I sure as hell, put away my own gorram dishes. I wasn't exactly raised in a barn!"

"Really?"

"Ye soo! Well- I did spend sometime in a barn but, that don't matter none. Just because I am...me doesn't mean I don't know to put my dishes away!"

"Never mind! I was just wondering. Some one has been doing that lately," Dinah muttered as they walked on.

No one noticed something watching them in the shadows, calculating and planning. Neither did they see it quickly dart on board the ship, as silent and as unnoticed as a shadow.

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"So you really grew up here?" Kaylee asked as her and Dinah wandered through the city streets. Mal, Zoe and Jayne were off doing crime. Port Harring wasn't as populated as other ports but, there were crowds of people making it very to navigate. It wasn't the neatest street but, it was busy if anything.

"Shi. I did," Dinah said as she looked at the familiar buildings.

"I couldn't imagine leaving here! Its so pretty and clean and fresh. And you got all them animals and wildlife back in those woods," the engineer said excitedly.

"I guess. I prefer space though. I ain't one for settling down," Dinah said as her eyes searched for a particular building. Finally her eyes settled on it, a place of familiarity.

"Kaylee, c'mon!" Dinah said, running across the street the silver case in her hands as she wove through the crowd. "I just need to hand this off to someone and then we'll be on our way."

Dinah pulled Kaylee into a building and up the stairs. They climbed two levels before Dinah stopped and quickly found a worn dirty looking door. She knocked on it. There were no ID scans or easy access locks here. That was just one of the other thing about Artemis she didn't like. It tried so hard to be like the Earth That Was and it just wasn't. It was called classically styled but, Dinah had always found it ridiculous. The door opened and a dark haired woman peeked around the door.

"Dinah? Oh Dinah!" the woman asked before pulling the blonde girl into a hug. "my god! I haven't seen you in the longest time, dear! You never come round anymore! Oh and your hair? Is it still that color? My god! It so wonderful to see ya!"

"Hiya, mum. This is Kaylee. She's the engineer of the ship I am traveling with. Kaylee, this my mum- I mean, Miriam."

"Hi," Kaylee chirped. Her mum smiled brighter.

"Well, come in then."

They were shuffled into the apartment Dinah had grown up in. It seemed just as messy. She recognized her sister's shoes and her brother-in-law's jacket handing on the old armchair. A large screen hung on the wall, as images of the daily news flashed. The large window showed a good view of the city, shiny and silver with classic styled skyscrapers and trains and park and the clear blue climate controlled sky. And there was the same worn table that miraculously fit all eleven family members. Well, nine actually. No, eight family members, since she didn't come around that often. Dinah leaned against the wall, not wanting to sit down. This was a quick visit. Then her and Kaylee could go find those engine parts and maybe Dinah could see her daughter.

"What are you doing here, then? Come to see Leah, then?" her mum asked, smiling again and hastily cleaned up.

"I plan on visiting her. I got something for you though," Dinah said, looking at the silver case in her hands.

"Kaylee, can I get you anything? Tea? Some sort of drink? I got some oranges from the market the other day. Nice and sweet." Kaylee's face lit up at oranges. Dinah laughed.

"Kaylee'd like that. But, we actually have to be going-" Dinah began. Kaylee's face fell.

"-But, oranges!" she complained, looking disappointed and sad.

"Didn't you say you needed a compression coil?"

"But...oranges!"

Dinah rolled her eyes and grabbed an orange from her mum and handed it too Kaylee.

"This for ya. And this," Dinah said, lifting the silver case onto the table. "is for you, mum."

"Well, what is it?"

"Mum, we really ought to be going," Dinah hastily said, not wanting an emotional reaction from her mum. "Please mum! we need to-"

"I think we can stay a bit longer-" Kaylee added.

"WE INTERRUPT YOUR USUAL VIEWING FOR THIS-" the TV suddenly announced on full volume, startling all three women.

"Damn contraption! Its been doing this for a few weeks. Turning on at the most random moments," Dinah's mum said, smacking the screen with her hand. The screen flicked but then resumed showing the news. And apparently the news was about two very familiar fugitives. They flashed on the screen but, then was replaced by an exceedingly large bounty. Kaylee and Dinah looked at each other, wide eyes. They were both thinking the same thing: oh, shit.

"Bye, Miriam!"

"Ta, mum! Gotta run!"

They both ran out of the apartment as if they were being chased by wild dogs. They practically leaped down the stairs, before Dinah ran right into a wall. She would have fallen if Kaylee hadn't hung onto her

"Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze fuh ur-tze ! That wall wasn't there a year ago." Dinah muttered rubbing her forehead as they stepped outside into the brilliant sunlight. They were both breathing heavily from their running.

"I think we overreacted," Kaylee panted. "A lot."

"Agreed," Dinah said, hoping the throbbing in her head would subside. Combine that with her pounding heartbeat and the clatter of the city and she was in for one hell of a headache.

"Well, she was nice. Your mom," Kaylee said as she peeled the orange a part. "You want a slice?"

"Sure. I am starting to think that is this a bad day."

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Wash really loved the smell of bacon. That heavy smoky meat smell was the second best thing to wake up too. He had been aghast to learn that Dinah wouldn't cook it. No, apparently being kosher meant no pork products and that was the best kind of bacon to eat! Poor Dinah. So he made a whole skillet full of it since she was gone. When the cook is away, the mice (or pilot) will play...or eat bacon.

The fantastic smell wafted from the kitchen down into the cargo bay. Meat. It attracted a visitor.

"What are you up to?" River asked, peering around the doorway.

"Hey, River. I am makin' bacon. You want some?" Wash asked.

"No."

"Alright. Ouch!" Wash shrieked as some hot oil splattered onto his hand as he removed the fried bacon from the skillet. The girl watched him from the doorway, staring at him with curious eyes.

"Did it burn your skin off?"

"Not really. I mean, it stings, I guess."

"I've never felt hot oil splash."

"Oh, well. Lets hope it stays that way. You know, River, I was almost a fry cook once. But then I got fired and- uh River?" Wash asked but, the girl was gone. "Oh. Okay. More for me." the pilot piled the slices onto his plate. He hadn't bacon in a long time. It was so good.

Then came a crash, a loud clatter of heavy things. Wash stood up quickly, startled by the loud noise. He was willing to bet Jayne had dropped his weights. Again.

Only Jayne wasn't on board.

Wash deserted his half eaten plate of bacon; large srashing noise were never good in his experience. He walked out into the cargo bay to find Shepherd book and Simon, who was struggling, picking up some fallen crates.

"What happened?"

"A few boxes fell. Nothing more," Simon said, slightly winded from the strain. He sniffed. "is something burning?"

"Bacon. I made some."

"Oh. Have you seen-"

"River?" Book said, with a chuckle.

"Am I that transparent?" Simon asked.

"No. it just seems to be the only thing you do on board," Wash said in a good natured manner,

"I think she's getting restless," Simon said.

"You can take her for a walk outside. Its beautiful here," Shepherd book said.

"You might want to be careful. This planet is very alliance friendly and we really don't want you two to get whisked away again," Wash said before he went back to the kitchen for his bacon, a slight bounce in his step. He could smell the delicious meat cooking. He hummed to himself. This was such a treat. Then he heard the munching, right outside of the kitchen. Someone was eating his bacon.

"That wasn't made for just for anyone-" Wash choked on his words, just as he was about to enter the kitchen. He froze, stiff with fear. Wash's blood run cold at what he saw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, cliffhanger!


	4. Chapter 4

It was noisy; on almost every corner a screen streamed the daily universal news to the public. Hardly anyone paid attention to the screen though. Even in the slums of Artemis, business was booming and people had better things to do then here about the news ramble on core politics.

"What day is it?" Kaylee asked Dinah. They were strolling through the streets, peeking in at the store windows displaying all their wares. What day was it? Dinah honestly couldn't remember.

"Oh, god. I'm not sure. Planet time or common universial time? Pshh, I never know what day it is any way. Hold on a sec," Dinah said as she grabbed as stranger by his arm. "You know what day it is?"

"Please don't hurt me!" the startled passerby begged, putting his hands up in defense in surrender. He was short and skinny and kind of mangy. "I don't have much money and I wasn't trying to start anything and I haven't done anything wrong!"

"Don't get ya knickers in a twist! I ain't gonna hurt ya. I just wanna know the day," Dinah said, glaring at the man. "I ain't gonna mug ya."

"Planet or universal time?" he stuttered.

"universal."

"November 11th," he said as Dinah let him go. He ran quickly into the crowd.

"November, the eleventh. If my calculations are correct," Dinah teased, as Kaylee and she walked on. Kaylee had this look of concentration on her face, as if she was counting.

"You didn't have to be so mean to him. Poor man. You terrified him," Kaylee said.

"Yeah. 'pose so. Why'd you want to know the day anyways?" Dinah asked. Kaylee looked a little devious. "ooh! You've got a secret! Tell me!"

"Well, actually. You know when we were at your mother's home? And how we saw the wanted posters for-" Kaylee looked around quickly, making sure no one could hear them. "Simon and River."

"Yeah?"

"The wanted poster had his birthday on it. its in a week. And I was thinkin', maybe we should all do something for him," Kaylee explained. "not something big. Just something nice. To show that we're thinkin' about him and-"

"by 'we' you mean 'you' right? Kaylee, if you like him, tell him! Time waits for no woman. Fortune favors the brave. Do something about it!"

"This ain't about me. Or my feelings," Kaylee explained. "Sure. I like him and I make my feelings plain but, I just wanna do somethin' nice. Like a cake! Dinah, will ya make him a cake?"

"Fine. I'll make him somethin' special for his birthday," Dinah said with a sigh, looking up at the sunny sky. If you looked very close you could see the honeycomb pattern of the auto controlled atmosphere. She felt her stomach twist as she recalled all the times she had thought that was what the sky was supposed looked like. "I can't believe it. I actually miss this place. Say, why don't we stay a bit longer? "

"Dinah!"someone called. Ah, Wu de tyen ah.

"Never mind. Lets go back to the ship," Dinah hastily said, tugging on Kaylee's arm. Someone was shouting her name and that never ended well. She hadn't done anything recently. Well except steal a precious religous text. Oh no. she hoped it was someone she didn't know.

"Dinah Rosenberg Meltzer!" turns out the person was a lot familiar. It was her mum. Of course it was her mum! Who else would call her name, her full name, in a crowded marketplace? Dinah let go the breath she had been holding.

"Tian xiz shou you de ren dou gai si. Hi, mum. Again. Oof!" Dinah said as something small and compact collided with her and wrapped its tiny arms around her.

"Mummy!"

"Leah!" Dinah exclaimed. Dinah tried to keep her balance as the Leah gripped her waist tightly.

"Mummy! You're here!" Leah cried, burying her face in Dinah's shirt.

"Bao bei! My girl! I thought you had school!" Dinah said, squatting to look at her little one. She looked so pretty, her dark black hair neatly combed and parted. Her face was clean and her hazel eyes shone brightly with joy. And she must have grown; she was so strong. She had nearly knocked Dinah over.

"I did. What it got cancelled and grandmummy said you were here!" Leah smiled, flashing her pearly whites in a giant grin. And was that a gap?

"And you lost your tooth! Well why didn't you message me, sweetheart! You're growing up every other minute. Why didn't ya tell me? You've been keepin' it safe?" Dinah asked as she pulled Leah's head closer to look at her toothy grin. Her teeth were straight and clean. Good.

"I wanted to! But, dad said it might be a while before you got the message so I should wait till I hear from ya next but, here you are! So I can just tell you!" Leah said giggling madly, reaching into the her pockets. She pulled out her special little box. "See! I've got them all right here. All my teeth!" In the box were all of Leah's baby teeth, small and pale, like little pieces of soap. Leah had always been fascinated with her own teeth; she had been saving them since the day she lost her first one. If it was anybody else kid, Dinah probably would have thought it was weird and creepy. But, with Leah, it was adorable.

"That's brilliant!" Dinah said, taking her daughter face and giving her tons of kissing on her cheeks. Leah squirmed away and wiped her face.

"eww! No more!" Dinah laughed and picked her daughter up and swung her around.

"My teeth! Mummy! I am going to lose all my teeth!" Leah cried, cradling her precious box. Dinah promptly put her back on the ground. She was getting a little too tall to swing anyway.

"Dinah?" Dinah's own mum growled, hands on her hips as she finally got her daughter's attention. Oh gosh, here comes the emotional breakdown.

"...oh. Hiya, mum. About the...thing, I just-"

"The thing! That's what you call it! Your own father's lifework and its a thing! If he could hear you now! And you just hand it to me, like a box of common Xiang-jiao! All these years! And god knows how you got it! Please don't tell me what you had to go through. I couldn't bear!" her mum said, on the verge of tears. "and I haven't heard from you and for all I know you were deserted on the outer rim, doing lord knows what and-"

Dinah quickly embraced her mum, not wanting to risk a bigger emotional outburst from her mum. Unfortunately for Leah, she was squashed between her mum and her grandmum. Dinah sneaked a peek at Kaylee who had quietly been watching the whole thing.

"Mum, I'll watch Leah for a bit. Maybe get a bite to eat with her. How about you got back home and I'll drop her off at your place? All right?"

"So eager to get me away? Never mind, sweetheart. I do have to get going. Things to wash and clean. Came here on my break and you know how rigid the bosses can be. You know how it is. Aaron will be around to pick her up after sunset so have her back by then. Goodbye, granddaughter," Miriam said, kissing Leah on the forehead. "Dinah. Good to see ya again, Kaylee," her mum said disappearing into the crowd.

Dinah brushed some hair out of her face. As annoying as it was to have her crying mother around, Dinah wished she could have stayed a little longer. Sure the planet might technologically have longer hours but, everything moved so gorram fast. No body had a spare moment around here. Leah looked up at her mum and slipped her tiny hand in hers. Dinah gripped it tightly, not wanting to ever let go.

"Bye, Miriam! So who's this little one?" Kaylee chirped, looking at Leah, who had suddenly become shy and was hiding behind Dinah.

"Who's the lady?" Leah whispered.

"That's Kaylee. She's an engineer. She works on ships, with the engines," Dinah explained. "Kaylee, I'd like ya to meet Leah, my daughter."

"Morning, Leah."

"Its afternoon," Leah lied trying to confuse Kaylee. Yeah, she was a weird kid.

"No, its not," Dinah scolded. "You know as well a I do, its still morning." Leah giggled mischievously.

"I was trying to trick her! Mummy, are you going to take me off world soon?" Leah asked, pulling on Dinah's hand. Dinah bent down to look at her again.

"Not yet. You still got school and I don't think your dad would like that very much and I am sure we don't won't him to be angry. Look, as soon as you've got a holiday, I'll fly down here and spirit you away to some far off world. you like that?"

"Yes," Leah said, obviously disappointed. "You promising?"

"'Course I promise! Here look, with Kaylee as my witness, I'll come and get you as soon as you're on holiday. Right, Kaylee?" Dinah said looking at the engineer.

"Oh yeah. And Serenity would be here real quick and nobody on board would really mind I think. Maybe Jayne but, he' always complaining," Kaylee explained, with a grin. Dinah thought about that. Would it be the best idea to have Leah on board? Could she put her daughter in that kind of danger? Dinah looked at her daughter intently; something was bothering Leah. Dinah pulled her over to the ledge of a store window; the street was getting a little two crowded for her taste.

"Why don't you wanna stay here?" Dinah asked. "on Artemis? Are you not happy or something?"

"No," Leah said, devoid of life. Kids had this little way, Dinah had discovered, of closing off when ever you started talking about something emotionally trying for them. Leah was like that. She could close off like an oyster if she wanted to.

"Leah, what's the matter? talk to me," Dinah asked. Kaylee shared her look of concern as the little girl just shrugged her shoulders.

"I just- I don't wanna stay here. Its borin'. Nothing ever happens and everyone tells me what to do. I go to school and I hate it."

"Most people don't like school, honey," Dinah asked. She pulled her daughter into a hug. "I know its hard. You just gotta put up with it."

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"What are we transporting?"

"I just told you Jayne!"

"I was oping you said it wrong. C'mon Mal. You can't be serious! How could stoop so low! This ain't decent crime! Ain't decent!"

"I never thought i'd say this but, Jayne brings up a few good points. Why are w doing this captain?" Zoe asked as they weaved through the street.

"'Cause they're paying us and-"

"But, mal-

"Enough! We're gonna transport these gorram dolls to Persephone and that's that! Ai ya! You two are as nosy as go hwong tong!" Mal said. "We'll just get Kaylee and Dinah and head back to Serenity and wait for the cargo." They spotted their crew mates sitting on an old fashioned bench with a child.

"Hey, what's that little person with the women, over there?"

"I think they call them kids nowadays," Zoe said, a slight grin on her face. "I bet my gun that's Dinah's little one." Kaylee suddenly caught sight of them and waved. Dinah and the little girl seemed to be in deep conversation.

"And, it just popped out. There was blood everywhere and daddy was going crazy and- people." as soon as they approached, the girl went quiet and tried to hide behind Dinah.

"Who's this, now?" Zoe asked, her voice surprisingly tender and warm. Mal stared at his second in command in cofusion. Since when was Zoe a fan of pint sized people?

"M'name is Leah," the little girl murmured, not looking at them.

"Yep. This is my daughter. Leah, I want you to meet Zoe, Jayne and Mal. Mal's the captain of the boat." Leah still hid, watching them with cautious accusing eyes.

"Ah, don't worry about them, Leah," Kaylee said, stroking the girl's hair. "They're nice."

"I lost all my teeth," Leah finally said, offering the container. Mal, Jayne and Zoe all peered inside to look at the professed teeth. Jayne tapped his own teeth as he looked in the box.

"Cute," was all Mal said.

"How was the cr- I mean, did you get the cargo job?" Kaylee said, avoiding the illegal part because of the little one.

"Oh, yeah. Badger's source turned out all right. A little eccentric but, beggars can't-"

"The tah mah de has moving dolls. Ow! Wou de ma!" Jayne yelped as Zoe hit the mercenary in the shoulder Not hard, just enough to pain him.

"Jayne, mind the language!" Zoe hissed.

"Didn't your mama ever teach you not to swear in front if kids?" Mal scolded too, glaring at Jayne who rubbed his arm.

"I don't know! She ain't that little!" Jayne defended, looking a little like a hit puppy. Leah smiled and Dinah frowned at her.

"Wait. So we're moving dolls?" Kaylee said, laughing a little.

"yes! Its the most decent job we've had in awhile and its gonna set us for a while so quit complaining! You'd think I'd made a deal with the devil," Mal muttered, standing a little taller. "also, the doll's head bobble."

"Ah, that's some cargo you've got there, captain. I am not sure if I should bring my girl on board if we're going to be transporting that," Dinah teased. Dolls. Who would have thought the bandits and fugitives illegally transporting dolls. Leah however did not get the joke.

"I can handle dolls! I am not scared of them. Anymore."

"I was teasing. So when are we getting off this rock?" Dinah asked.

"We'd be set to go before nightfall. Just need to get the cargo loaded then we off into the 'verse."

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Wash was in trouble. Deep trouble. Really deep fei hua. He froze, paralyzed where he stood. This was real danger. Like the Reavers. Only the danger was sitting on the kitchen table not miles out on some torn apart shuttle. The uninvited guest was smirking at him. Or maybe he was imagining that.

"Oh, crap."

the giant cat's tail twitched as it stared at Wash, its golden eyes lazily looking around. It was muscle and bone. And it was obviously very strong if the shattered chair on the floor indicated anything. Wash was just a man. A scared man. A scared unarmed man who was in the process of escaping. He really wished Zoe were suddenly.

"Nice, giant man eating cat. Good, man eating jaguar," Wash said as he slowly exited the kitchen. He was in the corridor and if he was lucky the jaguar wouldn't follow him.

"He's not hungry."

"Haabbageeb! River!" Wash gasped as he quickly ducked into the hallway, pulling River with him.

"There's a cat in there," River whispered, childlike glee written on her face.

"Yeah, River. We don't like that cat. Its-"

"Just because he ate your bacon, doesn't mean you should judge him. Should have shared. Couldn't have. Wouldn't have. And he's still hungry. Doesn't want to hunt. Falling all around him, leaves soaring through the air. Can't find it. Still wants it," River babbled. Then she frowned as if she was thinking something very important. "He's...sleepy. Too much tryptophan and no one to rock him to bed."

"Sure, River. Whatever you say," Wash stage whispered, not paying attenion to her. He was trying to figure out how to leave without making too much noise. What to do? What to do? This was bad. How the hell had a feral cat gotten on board? Sure, Dinah had warned them all about the local wildlife; but, Wash had been under the impression that wildlife referred to small birds and small monkeys and smaller animals. Not enormous cats that wander on board, eating everyone's bacon. They could sneak away. Probably find Book and Simon and formulate some sort of plan. But, what could a preist and a doctor do? They really needed Mal or Zoe or Jayne, someone who was okay with shooting. What in god's name were you suppose to do when you find a jaguar on your kitchen table? He quietly peeked around the corner to see the jaguar. The cat was cleaning its paws.

"I want touch it. Bond emotionally. Maybe find the way out of the woods and into the forest," River said, reaching her hand out. Wash gabbed it and held her back.

"No. no, River. Not right now. We really need to be getting away. Like, now," Wash said. He put her in front of her as he warily watched the kitchen doorway, hoping the jaguar was staying where it was. Right about now Wash was really regretting landing in the jungle. River was silent. Unsettling. She seemed completely unfazed by the animal on the table. He, on the other hand, may or may not have been hyperventilating and he might have possibly been on the edge of panic. The cat was probably getting hungry right about now.

"Don't worry."

"oh, I am not worrying. I am panicking. A very calm inverted controlled panic, of course. I have to be the adult here. There's a difference."

"If it was hungry now, it would have already killed us. Hunted actually. Predatory creature. Likes to see it bleeds. Rows of red rosebuds, rapidly rushing. Alliteration."

"Not helping, River!" Wash said as they successfully neared the med bay. "Shepherd Book! Simon!"  
"That's what everyone thinks," River said with a sigh as she curled up on the couch in, an ironically, feline postion.

"We got a problem, guys," Wash said, as he found Book and Simon in medical center.

"What's going on?" Simon asked, taking in the pilot's slightly panicked demeanor. Wash attempted to speak several times but, he couldn't find the right words.

"There is a cat. a jungle cat. in the kitchen," he finally murmured.

"A what?" shepherd asked.

"A feral cat. Of sorts. But not like a cat-cat. Like a wild cat. Really! This thing had teeth and a tail and claws and it ate my bacon and I am kinda freaking out here! What is it doing on board!"

"What are you saying?" Simon asked, thoroughly confused. How could an animal get on board?

"There's a cat onboard. What do you not understand?" Wash demanded.

"Panthera tigris not Panthera onca," River murmured as she gazed at her out stretched hand.

"See! Its real! She saw it too!"

"Well. I am crazy," River said, with a grin.

"We're back!"

every visibly flinched as they heard the sound of their crew mates returning. Thye hadn't been expecting them for another two hours at least.

"Honey- honey? Mal, where's my wife?" Wash asked, entering the cargo bay. Zoe wasn't with them. Neither was Dinah.

"Oh, she stayed behind with Dinah. Not sure why though," Mal said."Jayne! don't spit! we want to seem respectable somewhat when the cargo get here!"

"its because of Leah; she's so darn cute!" Kaylee cheered, carrying a box of engine parts, she had managed to scrounge up.

"They'll be back in a while. don't worry. we won't fly off without them. I for one am glad to be off this planet. Too proper for my taste. Not enough excitement."

"Speaking of excitement, Mal. We may have a problem. In the kitchen."

"Don't tell me River tried cooking something again!"

"Actually, we have tiger in the kitchen. It won't move," Wash said.

"Huh."

**Author's Note:**

> So, Dinah is being all wise and sage-y. A comment would be fantastic.


End file.
